I started taking Percocet after a bad breakup. I was prescribed them, and I had extra left over. I wanted something to numb the regret and grief I was feeling every night. I started taking a pill so that I could go to sleep.

It felt like putting on a lifejacket when I was drowning. Little did I know, the lifejacket was full of rocks.

When the effects wore off, I was waking up with the same feelings of depression, loss and suicidal ideation, plus the shame of of using. I started to get withdrawal afterwards: nausea, sweating, anxiety. The depression would come back tenfold.

I started looking for ways to get more. I worked in healthcare, and opiates were everywhere. I was stealing from work: a patient would get a partial dose, and I would take the remainder. I rationalized every step of the way. That's what addiction does: it makes things that are outside your normal morals and values acceptable.

In six months it went from oral, to IV. I thought by injecting, I was saving money. I thought I was being responsible. I had access to clean needles and all the paraphernalia. But it slowly evolved into this massive addiction to opiates. I remember shooting up a drug that was non-injectable, and seeing the veins turn red, my arm swell up, and my throat swell up. I had 911 dialed on the phone - but I couldn't press the number because I was so ashamed to ask for help. I would rather be found dead, overdosed.

People at work were starting to catch on with all my little lies. Thank God for them, because I could not stop on my own. My colleagues did me the biggest service, and reported me.

Addiction is super isolating. The addict brain wants you to think that you're alone, separate, different. My recovery started with going through Ridgewood, getting a counselor, and getting on the list for rehab.

After about two months, I found out about Sophia. When I went there and met all those other women, it was a paradigm shift: I realized I can find connection. I stayed with Sophia house for five years, attending programs, doing meetings, and volunteering.

I started working in healthcare again. It was the scariest thing in the world, going back to where my addiction started: hugely triggering. The same people, places and things. But I wore my story on my sleeve and shared it with struggling clients and patients, which was amazing.

For a full year, I never touched a narcotic.

But when you're working with your drug of choice, it's really easy to let that inner addict take hold. Again, I started with the partial doses. I would go in after hours and empty out the sharps container. That's how desperate I was for it.

I was caught quickly that time. Once again, I’ve had the opportunity to strengthen my recovery.

I came back to Sophia again, and now I have just over 18 months sober.

Relapse is really, really common in addiction. I'm proud of how long I was able to stay clean and to still be on this journey. Recovery is hard, but it's the best type of hard. It’s a hard thing that pays off, and will get you somewhere in life.