I smoked crack for the first time when I was 23. I had smoked weed before, and done mushrooms, and that was it. But the guy I was dating was doing crack, and so was his friend. I was just sitting in the corner all by myself and I was like, “I might as well.”

Then it got so our relationship kind of depended on it. It was our “thing”: we would do drugs, and have sex. Eventually, I ended up telling my best friend what was happening. She got very concerned and told my mother.

I’m autistic. I have Aspberger’s - that term is dated, though. You don't feel like you fit in. Sometimes you hang out with people, they're doing something, then you do it to fit in. I'm a people pleaser: I’ll do anything for anyone, even though they won't do it for me. It’s like I’m trying to find somebody, but I do it the wrong way. I let people use me. Then you get sucked in.

I would only do crack when he was around. I didn't want it when it wasn't there. But then when it was around, I couldn't help myself.

After my friend told my mother, my mom threatened to cut me off. So I pretended to break up with my boyfriend and pretended to be sober. Then she got me to come to Sophia. I talked with the people there about what was going on and I came to the conclusion I was happier without him, and without drugs. It just grossed me out when I really thought about what I was doing.

When I was quitting, I was very irritable. It was like being woken up from a nap, but I was like that all the time. I was short with people and took everything offensively. I slept a lot.

I was really avoiding my mom a lot when he was around, and that's kind of how she figured something was wrong. Now every day off I have I'm over at my mom's house.

I see people addicted and out there in the street and I’m like, “that I was almost me.” You talk with the wrong people, and you get sucked in.

Now I have almost 50 days clean. I just got full-time hours at work, and I'm hoping to get a promotion. My self confidence has grown, so that definitely helps. I think I'm worth more than I did before.