I was in Grade 9 when I started using ecstasy, or molly. I was very shy when I was younger, and I was bullied. This guy I met was like, “here, take this - this is gonna make you totally different.” And that turned out to be completely true.

When I popped one of those pills in my mouth, I didn't feel bad, or guilty, or ashamed or anything. That was like a whole new world for me.

For a while, it was a party thing: something I did on weekends. But then after high school, in my early 20s, I got introduced to cocaine.

I always needed energy - and I was like, “this is my new thing! I’ve got energy now!” I would use it in the morning just to wake up. That turned into needing to do it on my lunch break - then needing to have breaks in between to keep the motivation going. I realized I had a problem when I ended up falling asleep at work. My credit card was maxed. I had to start borrowing money, and then I lost my job.

I dug myself out of addiction for a while. Then I started dating someone who was selling drugs. I moved on to speed, because cocaine was too expensive.

When I got pregnant at 25, it scared the shit out of me, honestly. The first thing I thought was, “I’ve totally ruined this child already and he's not even born.” I held things together for a while  - but eventually, I dropped my son off at my parents house. I knew that he wasn't safe with me.

I was living with my abusive partner in a tiny town in rural New Brunswick. I was isolated. I was in a bad situation. I remember getting kicked out of a store, because they thought I was stealing, even though I wasn’t. It was humiliating. I was missing my son a whole lot. The guilt was really eating me up. All of that was my final straw.

I got sober, cold turkey. I got pregnant again and had my second child. I needed to get in the right headspace for my children. I took two years off to just be with my kids and find myself.

I did a lot of searching. I tried meditation. I tried getting manicures, different self-care things. After two years, I decided to go back to school for a social services community work program, so I could help young people,

I actually first arrived at Sophia Recovery when I was doing my placement. I was nervous. I had no idea what to expect. But coming to Sophia opened me up a lot. I learned different grounding activities - like tapping, or even just describing the room in your head as a way to ground yourself.

When I think back to when I was using, I was so isolated.​​ I’d never heard of SMART recovery. I didn't know if there were any Narcotics Anonymous, or other programs where I was living. Now, with 6 years sober, I have a new perspective on how recovery can work for different people.

I have a healthy relationship.  I’m not taking a million photos from different angles, plastered with makeup trying to hide how sick I look. I’m rebuilding the friendships I lost during those years.

There's not just one, linear path to getting sober. There are multiple paths to take, and different ways to do it.